The Awful German Language – Mark Twain

As someone who briefly and abortively attempted to learn German I thought this was hilarious. Luckily a planned move to a German-speaking country fell through or I’d still be kneading my brain into a pretzel studying at it.

“And if I have not also shown that German is a harassing and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault, and not my intent. I heard lately of a worn and sorely tried American student who used to fly to a certain German word for relief when he could bear up under his aggravations no longer — the only word whose sound was sweet and precious to his ear and healing to his lacerated spirit. This was the word Damit. It was only the sound that helped him, not the meaning; and so, at last, when he learned that the emphasis was not on the first syllable, his only stay and support was gone, and he faded away and died.”